The Dates, The Catfight, and The XRated Aftermath
by WhatTheF-ckHaveYouDoneLately
Summary: Birthday one-shot for my sister Danielle. Title pretty much explains the story. Tony/Abby, Spencer/JJ, brief mention of Tony/JJ. Very graphic, if you don't like that, don't read it.


***A/N Happy Birthday, Sis! Wow, 23, you're getting old. Nah, really, I hope this isn't too awful, it's a lot of smut that I haven't proofread because it got longer than planned and I didn't really have time. Hopefully it isn't too horrendous and the smut is what you hoped for! First time writing Spencer/JJ and Tony/Abby so yeah…if at first you don't succeed? And to all you readers out there (if there's anyone besides Danielle) you may recognize the style of this one-shot from my Christmas present fic for Arashi, "I've Had a Merry Time With You." This is the same idea with different (and straight) pairings. Okay. All done now and going to bed because I'm freakin' tired. Read on, my lovelies. **

Awkward was not quite the right word for it. They knew each other, they were comfortable. Colleagues, friends, they were a little of everything…except lovers. And one date didn't mean they had to be labeled as such but the air between them was full of tension. One's first instinct was to call it the discerning tension between two friends that were trying to take that next step into a relationship, but he knew this kind pretty well. He had caused women-a-plenty to be on the receiving end of it. However, this was a first. He felt it too. The player, the flirt, the class clown, was being smothered with sexual tension and could not seem to find his breath.

It goes without saying that for the first time in his life, Tony DiNozzo was out of his depth.

The bar was a nice place. Dimly lit, cozy. The perfect hunting ground for a predator that lived to ensnare the best looking woman in the room. Unless the best looking woman in the room was someone you worked with and a very close friend. Tony sighed into his drink and glanced to his left. Abby was on the barstool beside him, leaning forward onto the bar, elbows propped on the black marble. His eyes strayed further down. Her V-necked black dress dipped down to reveal the unmarred expanse of her pale skin, and he could see the supple curves of her breasts before they were covered by the clingy fabric.

She put her glass to her lips and took a sip, her full, red lips leaving a stain on the glass. Tony watched as she licked them clean. In the confines of lab, standing behind her as she rattled off vital information to their case, he was stricken by their proximity. Her body would barely touch his, and the smell of her hair flooded his senses. Tony was never taken off guard by a woman. Ever. Not until he met Abby Sciuto, who took his world and turned it on his head to the sound of the rock music that thrummed throughout her work space.

Tony had finally asked her out for a drink as more than friends. She agreed with an excited clapping of her hands, nodding when he said when he would pick her up. Now here they were. He kept thinking he should make some conversation but his tongue got tied when he looked at her. How had he ever refrained from staring at her _legs_? They were long and slender, thighs covered by a gauzy red skirt that rode up when she crossed them. One of her many attractive features worth taking in. Another was her hair; long and black, currently falling in loose waves over her shoulders. It shone in the light of the candle that flickered nearby.

Tony noticed her frowning at her empty glass.

"Can I get you another drink?" he managed to ask, at last.

Abby brightened. "Sure."

"We're all going to need a drink before this case is over," he said as he signaled the bartender.

"Maybe there'll be a lead once I get all of my forensics back tomorrow."

"If not, I say we all book a vacation to Maui and label it a Cold Case. We've been working the great beheaded Popeye for a week."

Andrew Reynolds, a Navy general just returned from service, had been found in his home with a severed head. His body was hanging from the ceiling fan and went around and around because the object was on, propelling him in a circle and splattering blood all over the living room. His head was in the arm chair, fitted snugly between two throw pillows. The TV remote was beside it as if he had been watching the game. Tony had laughed aloud at the mocking crime scene, earning a head slap from Gibbs and prudish glares from Ziva and Probie. When they got back to HQ, Abby and him had a good laugh about it, especially when Ducky couldn't decide which portion of the body to address while carrying on his usual autopsy conversation.

"Ooh, Maui! I have a new black coconut bra I've been wanting to try out."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Only you."

"I can get you a matching hula skirt."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Abby had a small fit of laughter at the image of Tony strutting his stuff in a grass skirt. Tony knocked back a shot of scotch and decided that this night may go pretty well after all.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure we can't go to Comic Con instead?"<p>

"Spence!"

"Okay, okay."

Spencer opened the door and followed JJ, taking her coat for her when they were inside. He squeaked with little dignity when he saw the dark blue cocktail dress that hugged her curves. She looked away with a touch of color in her cheeks. Spencer dredged his composure back up and took her arm, leading her to a table towards the back wall so they could have their privacy and wouldn't have to talk over the crowd. He had wanted to take her to Comic Con and woo her with his best Batman costume, but she wanted a traditional date for a change and who was he to refuse?

Their first three months as a couple had flown by in a happy blur. Her divorce with Will turned into her crying on her best friend's shoulder, which turned into a spontaneous kiss. Spencer spent the following week convinced he had taken advantage of her and JJ spent those seven days exhausting herself with the effort of convincing him that he didn't. Soon after they started dating. Spencer always took her special places; a candlelit dinner on a pier overlooking a lake, dancing at a gala two towns over, using his FBI credentials to get them into a museum after hours so they had it all to themselves. JJ was anything but typical and deserved to have dates as special as she was.

But she wanted a nice, normal dinner for a change, not that their exotic outings weren't amazing. Spencer had to admit once they were seated that it was cozy, and she looked as beautiful as ever under the flickering candlelight. Her skin was warmed to a soft bronze that made his heart skip a beat. They had agreed not to take things all the way until they knew it would work out, not wanting to complicate their friendship with a hasty one night stand. Much to their mutual pleasure, life as a couple couldn't be better. Spencer wanted her like a cold glass of water in the searing heat of the desert, but he would wait for her cue. She had not been out of her marriage that long and she could have all the time she needed before they took that final plunge. He would wait for as long as she wanted, so long as they were still together.

Derek and Garcia were babysitting Henry. They were the first to discover the relationship and soon after, JJ and Spencer decided to tell the rest of the team. Hotch warned not to let it interfere with their work but said he hoped they would be happy. Everyone else was full of congratulations and questions about how it started, how it was going, etc. The girls went out for cocktails for the sole reason of badgering JJ, and Spencer shouldn't have been surprised when Derek "all of a sudden" wanted some guys to watch the game. Spencer endured his and Rossi's questioning that he finally managed to silence with nonstop rambling about the trajectory of how a football travels when thrown by a man the size of an average quarterback.

"So, Spencer, I wanted to talk to you about something…"

"Uh oh. You only call me Spencer when it's something big."

JJ laughed, but her eyes were serious. "It's about Henry."

He sobered in the blink of an eye. "Is everything okay?"

"With him, yes." She absently stroked her thumb across the top of his hand. "There's just something I feel like I need to do, and…I would really appreciate if I had you to back me up."

"Of course. Whatever it is, I'm with you a hundred percent." There was no hesitance in his tone, but it was easy to tell he was confused. When her grateful, warm smile was not accompanied by further explanation, he ventured to ask, "What exactly am I backing you up on…?"

She opened her mouth, managing only to say, "I think-" before her eyes fixed to the right and her jaw fell open.

Spencer turned to see a man approaching. A handsome one. He had short, brown hair and a winning smile. Spencer was about to introduce himself when he saw the way his JJ was being leered at. She was smiling at the man they knew each other…biblically. It didn't take a profiler to figure it out from the way they looked at each other. A pretty woman followed the man, knee-high black boots tapping the floor. JJ stood up and Spencer did as well, looking between them.

"Tony DiNozzo?" JJ exclaimed, face bright with a wide smile.

He hugged her enthusiastically, grinning. "Jennifer Jeruea, I'll be damned."

"How have you been?"

"I'm awesome, but you and the rest of the world already know that."

"You're still cocky, I see."

"You know that better than anyone."

Abby's smile melted into a glare as she trained her eyes on JJ. She took her earrings out and put them on a table, pushing Tony out of the way. The FBI agent in JJ kicked in when she saw the possessive woman coming towards her and removed her jewelry too, handing it to Spencer, who sputtered and watched the two women size each other up. He looked to Tony but the man that had apparently been involved with JJ was leaning against a booth, waiting patiently for the fight to begin.

"Between Ziva and now you, I am so tired of being the only woman in the world that hasn't slept with Tony!" Abby shrieked.

JJ tried to reason with her but was cut off when Abby lunged her. JJ easily grabbed her and threw her into a table in self defense, tying her hair back into a ponytail with a band around her wrist. Tony whooped and cheered. People were starting to gather around. Abby retaliated by grabbing JJ's ponytail and using it to sling her face first into the wall. Spencer leapt up to check on his girlfriend but ended up in the middle of the fight, JJ backhanding him by mistake. He stumbled back and pressed himself to the wall beside Tony.

"I think I just became terrified of my girlfriend," he squeaked.

Tony laughed. "You ought to be. Those are some vicious bitches."

Abby and JJ went to the ground, rolling around and scrabbling at each other's hair. JJ had the advantage of being a trained federal agent, but Abby was a scrapper. A man started to call for the bouncer, who was in the back talking to the manager, but Spencer and Tony pulled out their badges in perfect unison.

"FBI. SSA Doctor Spencer Reid, I have this under control."

"NCIS. Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, we have this."

The man backed away from the two officers and scrambled out of the restaurant. Spencer figured he had something illegal on him but was too busy making sure JJ wasn't knocked out to go after him. However, she sprung back to her feet and the fight began anew. With both of them standing, it was easy to see the damage; bruises, lacerations, blood in the scalp where hair had been torn out. Tony and Spencer made the mutual decision to break it up and both grabbed their perspective dates, pulling the snarling girls apart. JJ and Abby both lashed out before they realized who was behind them.

Tony looked between the two women before making a sound as close to a meow as a human could manage. "Catfight."

* * *

><p>They all sat down together after tables were stood back up and jewelry was returned to its rightful place. Tony and Abby sat across from Spencer and JJ. It was awkward until JJ broke the silence by telling Spencer she probably ought to explain how she knew Tony.<p>

"I was a liaison for another branch of law enforcement for awhile," she admitted. "And when I say awhile, I mean a week. Working for NCIS was a disaster waiting to happen. A friend of mine, Kate Todd, gave me a recommendation to the head of their team when I said I was looking for work…not long before she was killed." JJ's eyes glistened towards the end, and Spencer took her hand. She squeezed it gratefully and continued.

"I got involved with Gibbs' - the boss - right hand."

Tony held up his hand. "Which is where I came in."

"But I didn't stay long. Tony and I were together a couple times, and we were friends, but it was never what I would call a relationship."

Abby and Spencer relaxed at that. The rest of the dinner passed surprisingly well, JJ and Tony catching up while Abby made fast friends with Spencer. Arguing what was suggested by the bruises covering the women, they all got along better than anyone could have hoped. It was on pleasant terms that they all parted. Tony hugged JJ, and Spencer was pulled into a hug by Abby when he shook her hand. Abby had found a kindred spirit in the nerdy agent and happily exclaimed as much to Tony on the way back to his place. He said he was glad, though he wouldn't have minded seeing her and JJ have it out again.

The tension was on as soon as they walked through the door. Tony shucked his blazer and threw it over the couch. Abby could feel his eyes on her, knew he was watching every move she made. She kept her cool, leaving her shoes by the door and sitting on the couch, crossing her legs. He sat beside her, their shoulders touching. She turned to face him with her heart hammering against her ribcage. Tony's crystalline blue eyes pierced hers. His body radiated heat like a furnace. He leaned into her and she met him halfway, eager to let her lips be claimed. Her mouth opened in a gasp at the rough contact, a motion he took advantage of, slipping his tongue between her parted lips.

She looped her arms around his neck and pressed their bodies together. Tony had acquired some more talent over his many conquests and it showed through in the masterful way he kissed her. What little remained of Abby's resolve crumbled. Her tongue clashed with his, the two tangling and warring for dominance. She soon surrendered with a low groan that came from deep in her throat. He took her by the hips and lifted her onto his lap. Abby straddled him and cried out at the sensation of their arousals meeting.

He pulled away, chest heaving. "You want to move this somewhere else?"

Abby nodded breathlessly. "Yeah."

* * *

><p>JJ walked inside and watched Spencer apprehensively. He was so distant. She could understand; if it had been him that ran into someone he used to be involved with, she would be on the defensive, too. She had tried to drum up conversation on the ride home and he was not abrupt or rude, but his responses were monosyllabic. JJ was confused. They had all been having a great time before they left, but once they were alone again, he grew far away and pensive. She finally sat him down and took his hands in her own, asking him what was wrong.<p>

"Nothing, sorry."

"Spence, don't apologize. Don't lie, either. What's bothering you?"

He stared down at their hands. "I just keep thinking about the two of you together. How could I ever…"

"What?"

"How could I ever compare to him? I mean, look at him." Spencer's cheeks were colored.

"Oh, Spencer." JJ shook her head. "It's no contest. Tony, he was a fling. Nothing more. You have always been the one I wanted. You will always_ be _the one I want. And I don't care what you think, or what anyone else does, you are the most beautiful man I have ever known."

Whatever response he may have had went unvoiced, because she kissed him softly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and moved one hand to her hair, pulling the ponytail holder free. His fingers found their way into the golden tresses that fell over her shoulders. She deepened the kiss and grazed his jaw with her knuckles. Her pulse was starting to lose its steady rhythm. He tilted his face into her touch and moved closer. She had been standing in front of the armchair she sat him down in, and she now leaned down to kiss him.

"I love you, Spence," she whispered.

Spencer smiled against her mouth and stroked her hair. "I love you too, JJ. I have almost since the day we met but I never knew how to tell you."

JJ sat on the arm of his seat, hand on his shoulder. "About what I wanted to talk to you about earlier…" He turned slightly to look up into her eyes and covered her hand, nodding for her to continue. She breathed in deep. "I'm suing Will for full custody. Henry is so upset every time he comes home from spending the weekend with his own father, and Will is really letting himself go. I didn't want it to come to this, but he's slipping through the cracks and I can't trust Henry with him anymore. I want someone I know can be the dad he needs. I want _you._"

There were many meanings to her final three words, and she could tell by the look in his eyes and the sudden heatedness of his kiss that he understood all of them. He stood up, sliding his arm around her waist before she could fall backwards off the arm of the chair. She took his hand when he hesitated and led him out of the living room of her apartment, down a narrow hallway. His palm was clammy in hers. She wondered how long it had been for him. He was nervous like a virgin, and deep down, so was she. JJ had been waiting for Spencer since before she got together with Will, trying with no success to lock those feelings away and be the happily married woman she never could be.

"Lie down," she whispered in the dark bedroom, as if speaking up would shatter the moment that seemed so perfect that it could have been a dream.

It was pitch black in the room save for the light coming from under the closed door, but she could see his silhouette moving, hear his shoes drop to the floor. The bed creaked softly. His labored breathing was audible in the almost silence, the jerky sounds of it spliced only by JJ's short, nervous inhalations. Her fingers reached back and found the zipper of her dress, sliding it down until it would go no further. She bit her lip. It had been a long time since she was nervous about being with a man but something about the prospect of being with Spencer shredded her she was ready.

Her dress hit the floor, pooling around her high heel clad feet. She drew air into her lungs. _I'm ready._

* * *

><p>Clothes were strewn from the living room to the bedroom, where Abby and Tony tore off whatever remained. Tony pushed Abby onto the bed, kissing down her neck. She grabbed his shoulders as her chest heaved. He made his way to her rising and falling breasts, cupping them in his hands and giving them a slow squeeze. She gasped his name and arched into him, nails sinking into his shoulders. Tony smirked against her skin and circled her nipples teasingly with his thumbs. When she was panting with need, he took them between his fingers and started rubbing, harder and faster the louder her cries became.<p>

"Come on, Tony," she breathed out.

His erection throbbed, leaving him in no position to argue. He braced his hands on the bed on either side of her head and pushed inside the wet, eager heat waiting for him. She threw her head back, hair fanning out on the pillow. Her legs spread apart and her back bowed until her weight rested against her shoulder blades. Tony kissed her feverishly before pulling out, only to thrust back in. She moved with him, locking her legs around his waist. Tony tried but knew he wouldn't last long like this.

Abby was falling apart. Her pale cheeks were flushed, and she was beginning to shake. Tony reached between them and rubbed two fingers over her wetness, finding her blood filled clit and taking it between his fingers. Abby screamed out and fisted her hands in the sheets, the fine trembles running down her spine turning into violent shaking. He began rubbing the nerve rich nub in slow circles, groaning at the sensation of her inner muscles clenching around his cock. His thrusts got uneven and his body jerked, getting close. It caused his fingers to jerk, too, right into her clit. Abby's scream fell into a broken moan as she thrust her hips forward to make his fingers jab into the sensitive area again.

He moved his mouth down to her breasts and took a nipple in his mouth, scraping it with his teeth. His tongue worked the hard peak, hand cupping and squeezing her other breast. Abby grabbed his hair and started screaming. They were both so close it hurt. The scant, dark hair around her entrance was matted down with her fluid and she was nearly convulsing this close to the edge. His hand closed around her breast almost too hard but she loved it, welcomed it. He drove his cock into her over and over again until he felt his stomach tighten in warning.

One violent thrust ruined them both. He emptied into her with a soft cry of pleasure. Abby was louder, crying out his name as her orgasm rose up and pulled her under. Her release trickled down her thighs and Tony just about got hard again from that alone. He watched the fluid seep out from between her lips, coating her inner thighs. One last wave of ecstasy coursed through him before he collapsed beside her, panting. She turned to face him. Tony wasn't much of a cuddler, but he nonetheless put an arm over her waist and pulled her to him. She leant her forehead into his chest and rested her hand on his shoulder.

However quickly it had been over, they both knew it meant so much more than just a one night stand.

* * *

><p>They were both undressed easily. Leaving her shoes beside Spencer's, JJ climbed onto the bed with him. He laid on his back, watching what he could see of her in the dark room. She kissed him, keeping it slow until he relaxed. His hands started to wander away from her shoulders, down her chest. He touched the sides of her breasts lightly, rubbing underneath with his thumbs. She took his hands and guided them inwards until he palms were against her hardened nipples. He pressed forward instinctively and she gasped. She moved up and down, creating friction. He soon got the hint and sped up his ministrations, palming her breasts and pushing against her nipples.<p>

She leaned down to his ear. "I'm ready…I'm wet."

He shuddered against her. She straddled him on the bed, nodding when he requested to turn on the lamp. He turned to do so and she could feel his hardness press against her. She stroked it gently and smiled at the expression he wore when her bedside lamp illuminated the room. He dropped his head against the pillows and stared up at her. JJ was a vision, with her hair falling over her shoulders and her breasts on display as she sat over him. She took his hands once more, but this time did not lead them to her chest. She settled them there briefly, but soon after he had stimulated the tender nerves in her breasts, she moved them down her stomach.

A jolt of heat raced up her spine as his long, nimble fingers went past her waist. They hovered by her waiting entrance. She released his hands and leant her hips back, parting her thighs to give him access. He rubbed her nether lips for a moment before he began massaging her clit. She closed her eyes and let her head tilt, hair spilling over her shoulders and down her back. It felt good, _too _good, and she had to resist letting him continue until the knots in her stomach unwound into the release she craved.

She took his erection in her hands, stroking the hardened flesh a few times before moving herself above it. Spencer grasped her hips and fixed lust blown, brown eyes on her. She lowered herself down, hands pressing into his chest and his fingers digging into her hips as he was buried deep within her. Spencer caressed every inch of skin he could find, from her full breasts to the knobs of her spine. She started slow, moving in careful motions, giving a soft whimper as she felt him moving inside her. He sat up and pulled her against him, kissing her. She opened her mouth and shivered as his tongue explored her mouth in tentative swipes.

They fell into synch with each other, finding angles that let him go deeper, but never going any faster. JJ was happy to take it slow and he seemed to be as well. She bared her neck to the kisses he placed there, moaning when his tongue found her collarbone. Her body grew hotter with every delve of his hardness into her and who knows how long later, she was hovering over the edge. The twist of his brow and the shortness of his breath said she was not alone in her nearness.

They met their ends together. Her body went rigid alongside his as she climaxed so hard she saw stars. Spencer clutched her tightly as he shuddered to a stop. They remained in that position for awhile, catching their breath. Spencer eased her onto the mattress, still holding her. She threaded her arms around his waist and pillowed her head on his chest. There was so much she could have said but no words managed to leave her mouth. She was speechless. Her heart was making a persistent attempt to soar from her chest, and warmth was spreading from there to every part of her body. Being with Will had never felt this way.

Spencer was the first to speak, and the words were awed. "You're amazing."

JJ smiled into his chest. "So are you."


End file.
